Year End Stats.
Today officially ends my fiscal year.
For 2003-2004:
331 shows.
14711 attendees.
Yowza.
Tuesday, June 29, 2004
The trouble with kiddles.
The second show I did today was for a group called the Children's Center. The kids were between 5 and 11 yrs old. That's a big spread -- there is a HUGE difference between 5 years old and 11 years old.
I did a pretty generic program for them... they seemed happy. At the end when I asked if there were any questions, about 80% of them put their hands up. When the other 20% saw the hands up, they joined in, as well.
So I called on the first kid, and he got up out of his seat, walked over to me, and stood RIGHT NEXT TO ME (I swear his toes were touching mine), and looked straight up at me and asked a question about a planet. I really don't remember the question, and basically didn't even hear it because I was so freaked out by his actions. I just stood there with my mouth agape, slightly, and after a second or two of my silence, he asked his question again... I didn't hear it the second time either. I just stammered out a freakish, "Um. I don't know."
"Oh, OK," he said.
And he stayed right where he was.
"Anything else??" I waveringly asked.
"Nope," he told me, still as a statue.
I called on the next kid, and HE GOT UP and stood right next to me. SO now I had a SECOND kid right up against me.
In a few moments, I basically had ALL THE KIDS surrounding me, all shouting questions at the same time. I have never been so freaked out in my life. And I had some giant prehistoric looking cricket in my bathroom last week.
I just whipped my head from side to side, eyes wide, unable to answer the questions, unable to move. After what seemed like twenty minutes of this hell, one of the teacher/chaperones grabbed a couple kids at the outside of the mob, and started to lead them away to the exit.
I still feel a bit oogy.
The second show I did today was for a group called the Children's Center. The kids were between 5 and 11 yrs old. That's a big spread -- there is a HUGE difference between 5 years old and 11 years old.
I did a pretty generic program for them... they seemed happy. At the end when I asked if there were any questions, about 80% of them put their hands up. When the other 20% saw the hands up, they joined in, as well.
So I called on the first kid, and he got up out of his seat, walked over to me, and stood RIGHT NEXT TO ME (I swear his toes were touching mine), and looked straight up at me and asked a question about a planet. I really don't remember the question, and basically didn't even hear it because I was so freaked out by his actions. I just stood there with my mouth agape, slightly, and after a second or two of my silence, he asked his question again... I didn't hear it the second time either. I just stammered out a freakish, "Um. I don't know."
"Oh, OK," he said.
And he stayed right where he was.
"Anything else??" I waveringly asked.
"Nope," he told me, still as a statue.
I called on the next kid, and HE GOT UP and stood right next to me. SO now I had a SECOND kid right up against me.
In a few moments, I basically had ALL THE KIDS surrounding me, all shouting questions at the same time. I have never been so freaked out in my life. And I had some giant prehistoric looking cricket in my bathroom last week.
I just whipped my head from side to side, eyes wide, unable to answer the questions, unable to move. After what seemed like twenty minutes of this hell, one of the teacher/chaperones grabbed a couple kids at the outside of the mob, and started to lead them away to the exit.
I still feel a bit oogy.
I'm back!
Well, it's hard to actually get back to work, but I suppose I must do this.
I have 2 programs today... should give me a hearty jolt of reality.
Before I go do those....
This is a message for someone named Stephanie Johnson: you left a very nice voice mail message for me, but if you want to return your call, as requested, you'll have to leave your phone number. Thanks.
Well, it's hard to actually get back to work, but I suppose I must do this.
I have 2 programs today... should give me a hearty jolt of reality.
Before I go do those....
This is a message for someone named Stephanie Johnson: you left a very nice voice mail message for me, but if you want to return your call, as requested, you'll have to leave your phone number. Thanks.
Tuesday, June 15, 2004
Tuesday, June 08, 2004
The multipurpose room.
I had a group of Kidergarten students this afternoon... they had not sent in their reservation form, which isn't terribly unusual, but I wasn't sure what they had covered in their class, and what they might want me to cover. I DID know that they had called and left a message stating that they HAD TO be done fifteen minutes early. It was EXTREMELY important that the main part of the program was over and the lights were back on FIFTEEN MINUTES early. Often, they need to be back for the buses, or something of that sort, so it wasn't too odd to hear that.
Until I found out why.
They arrived, and I asked what they wanted discussed, since I had no idea.
"It doesn't matter," the teacher told me.
"Doesn't matter? What do you mean?" I asked.
"Whatever you want to talk about is fine."
I've ranted about this before. Just pick something. Make it seem like you care to be here a little. BUT, it was a Kindergarten group, so I understand how it might not matter; they're 5 years old. Whatever I talk about will be fine...
"All that matters," she continued, "is that you are done AT LEAST 15 minutes early."
"Oh, yeah," I said, "I got you message. Got to get back for the buses?" I asked it almost rhetorically, assuming that was the reason.
"Oh, no," she told me.
"Oh, then why is it so important for you to get done early?" I asked.
"We thought it would be great for us to do the class pictures here!" she said proudly.
I felt physically ill. I know there is no reason for this, but I was personally offended. Let's recap: She doesn't care what I say, as long as I shut up in time for her to take pictures of the kids. Why do the show at all? Just take your pictures and go away.
So, I did the program, and got done early, as requested. As soon as the lights came up, she lined the kids up against the wall. She used her spit to straighten their hair and desmudge their faces, and two of the people in the audience who I assumed to be chaporones got out their fancy digital cameras. Then they had each end of the line of kids stand in front of a poster (one was a quarter moon, the other was M51, a galaxy), and get their picture taken one at a time.
Then they had each of the classes stand in front of the machine and have a class picture done. The kids robotically did as they were told, and then the entourage left. It seemed that they had already forgotten a program had even happened.
Well, it was 15 minutes where I didn't have to talk, so I should at least just be thankful for that.
I had a group of Kidergarten students this afternoon... they had not sent in their reservation form, which isn't terribly unusual, but I wasn't sure what they had covered in their class, and what they might want me to cover. I DID know that they had called and left a message stating that they HAD TO be done fifteen minutes early. It was EXTREMELY important that the main part of the program was over and the lights were back on FIFTEEN MINUTES early. Often, they need to be back for the buses, or something of that sort, so it wasn't too odd to hear that.
Until I found out why.
They arrived, and I asked what they wanted discussed, since I had no idea.
"It doesn't matter," the teacher told me.
"Doesn't matter? What do you mean?" I asked.
"Whatever you want to talk about is fine."
I've ranted about this before. Just pick something. Make it seem like you care to be here a little. BUT, it was a Kindergarten group, so I understand how it might not matter; they're 5 years old. Whatever I talk about will be fine...
"All that matters," she continued, "is that you are done AT LEAST 15 minutes early."
"Oh, yeah," I said, "I got you message. Got to get back for the buses?" I asked it almost rhetorically, assuming that was the reason.
"Oh, no," she told me.
"Oh, then why is it so important for you to get done early?" I asked.
"We thought it would be great for us to do the class pictures here!" she said proudly.
I felt physically ill. I know there is no reason for this, but I was personally offended. Let's recap: She doesn't care what I say, as long as I shut up in time for her to take pictures of the kids. Why do the show at all? Just take your pictures and go away.
So, I did the program, and got done early, as requested. As soon as the lights came up, she lined the kids up against the wall. She used her spit to straighten their hair and desmudge their faces, and two of the people in the audience who I assumed to be chaporones got out their fancy digital cameras. Then they had each end of the line of kids stand in front of a poster (one was a quarter moon, the other was M51, a galaxy), and get their picture taken one at a time.
Then they had each of the classes stand in front of the machine and have a class picture done. The kids robotically did as they were told, and then the entourage left. It seemed that they had already forgotten a program had even happened.
Well, it was 15 minutes where I didn't have to talk, so I should at least just be thankful for that.
Friday, June 04, 2004
What IS real?
I had a group of preschool kids here yesterday. I was in a great state of I-really-don't-want-to-deal, and it sort of made for a better program.
The 4 year olds were crawling all over the seats just like they ALWAYS do, and I knew I needed to get them to do some participation. So, as we talked about constellations, I would drop hints on what the shape or animal was going to be, and they would should guesses until we got it right.
Me: "This next one is an animal...."
Them:"A FROG!!" "A BEAR!!" "A CAT!!!"
Me: "....it's got a mane..."
Them: "A HORSE!!" "A LION!!"
Me: "YES!! It's a lion!" And then I'd put up a picture of Leo.
Even the adults (there were 15 in the room) were getting into it. So much so that they stopped thinking.
I had a woman next to me who was really into it. She was shouting as much as the kids and seemed just giddy when she'd guess right.
One time she was a little off the mark... I was about to show them Draco the Dragon.
Me: "This is another animal..."
Them: "A DOG!!" "A PIG!!"
Me: "... actually it's a FAKE animal. A PRETEND animal..."
And the woman next to me guessed: "A TURTLE!"
I stopped. I turned to her.
Me: "A turtle?? Did you say a turtle??"
The Woman: "YEAH! TURTLE!"
Me: "Turtles are real."
The Woman: "So it's not a turtle?" She seemed genuinely disappointed.
Me: "Nope. NOT a turtle. It's a PRETEND animal." Directed back to the rest of the room: "It breathes fire..."
The Woman: "A fire-breathing turtle!!"
I think she was joking around, but I just can't be sure.
I had a group of preschool kids here yesterday. I was in a great state of I-really-don't-want-to-deal, and it sort of made for a better program.
The 4 year olds were crawling all over the seats just like they ALWAYS do, and I knew I needed to get them to do some participation. So, as we talked about constellations, I would drop hints on what the shape or animal was going to be, and they would should guesses until we got it right.
Me: "This next one is an animal...."
Them:"A FROG!!" "A BEAR!!" "A CAT!!!"
Me: "....it's got a mane..."
Them: "A HORSE!!" "A LION!!"
Me: "YES!! It's a lion!" And then I'd put up a picture of Leo.
Even the adults (there were 15 in the room) were getting into it. So much so that they stopped thinking.
I had a woman next to me who was really into it. She was shouting as much as the kids and seemed just giddy when she'd guess right.
One time she was a little off the mark... I was about to show them Draco the Dragon.
Me: "This is another animal..."
Them: "A DOG!!" "A PIG!!"
Me: "... actually it's a FAKE animal. A PRETEND animal..."
And the woman next to me guessed: "A TURTLE!"
I stopped. I turned to her.
Me: "A turtle?? Did you say a turtle??"
The Woman: "YEAH! TURTLE!"
Me: "Turtles are real."
The Woman: "So it's not a turtle?" She seemed genuinely disappointed.
Me: "Nope. NOT a turtle. It's a PRETEND animal." Directed back to the rest of the room: "It breathes fire..."
The Woman: "A fire-breathing turtle!!"
I think she was joking around, but I just can't be sure.
Good.
Oh my goodness. I had a 3rd grade group yesterday, and they were... good.
Really good.
It was a good group. They WERE here 25 minutes early, but they used the bathroom during that time and waited patiently until I was ready to let them in. They were in the hallways for a while, and they were good.
They came in and sat down in a good fashion. The show was good. They were quiet when they were supposed to be, participated when they were supposed to, and laughed and clapped in respective fashion when appropriate. It was good.
It was a good show.
Wait a minute: I just checked -- I've done 750 shows, and have JUST exceeded 30,000 visitors.
And in all that time I've had ONE good show.
This is not good.
Oh my goodness. I had a 3rd grade group yesterday, and they were... good.
Really good.
It was a good group. They WERE here 25 minutes early, but they used the bathroom during that time and waited patiently until I was ready to let them in. They were in the hallways for a while, and they were good.
They came in and sat down in a good fashion. The show was good. They were quiet when they were supposed to be, participated when they were supposed to, and laughed and clapped in respective fashion when appropriate. It was good.
It was a good show.
Wait a minute: I just checked -- I've done 750 shows, and have JUST exceeded 30,000 visitors.
And in all that time I've had ONE good show.
This is not good.
Tuesday, June 01, 2004
The Best Review Ever.
My third group was a bunch of precocious 4 year olds. They already knew EVERYTHING I was about to tell them. Normally I would be really annoyed by this, but at this point in the day, I let them run with it.
I would introduce a planet, and they would all scream the name back at me, and then tell me things they knew about it. I can't believe how well it worked.
"This is Venus!" I would say. "YAY, VENUS!! VENUS!!" they would all shout.
"It's hot!" one kid would yell.
"That's right," I'd assure him unnecessarily. "What else...?"
"It's got poisonous clouds!!" another kid would shout.
"Great! What else...?"
We'd do about 4 or 5 basic facts, and then I'd move onto the next planet. It's a cool concept, but for most groups it would never work -- somehow they all stayed on task, appropriately, and each took turns in the dark. That never works! I'm still not sure how it did this time.
They were good, too. I was pointing out a couple constellations -- Leo, Cygnus, Scorpio -- and I said at one point, "This next one is a pretend animal."
Without more than a second delay, one four year old shouted, "Draco the Dragon!!" I hadn't even pointed the part of the sky, yet! It was like they had read the script.
So, I didn't end up teaching them ANYTHING, but I apparently was able to let them reinforce the stuff they already knew, so I can't complain.
At the end I always do a Q&A, and I said, "It seems that you guys already know everything I could tell you, but if anyone has any questions or comments, this is the time for that."
One kid raised his hand and said, "I just want to say: this was cooler than myself."
I'll take that as a compliment!
My third group was a bunch of precocious 4 year olds. They already knew EVERYTHING I was about to tell them. Normally I would be really annoyed by this, but at this point in the day, I let them run with it.
I would introduce a planet, and they would all scream the name back at me, and then tell me things they knew about it. I can't believe how well it worked.
"This is Venus!" I would say. "YAY, VENUS!! VENUS!!" they would all shout.
"It's hot!" one kid would yell.
"That's right," I'd assure him unnecessarily. "What else...?"
"It's got poisonous clouds!!" another kid would shout.
"Great! What else...?"
We'd do about 4 or 5 basic facts, and then I'd move onto the next planet. It's a cool concept, but for most groups it would never work -- somehow they all stayed on task, appropriately, and each took turns in the dark. That never works! I'm still not sure how it did this time.
They were good, too. I was pointing out a couple constellations -- Leo, Cygnus, Scorpio -- and I said at one point, "This next one is a pretend animal."
Without more than a second delay, one four year old shouted, "Draco the Dragon!!" I hadn't even pointed the part of the sky, yet! It was like they had read the script.
So, I didn't end up teaching them ANYTHING, but I apparently was able to let them reinforce the stuff they already knew, so I can't complain.
At the end I always do a Q&A, and I said, "It seems that you guys already know everything I could tell you, but if anyone has any questions or comments, this is the time for that."
One kid raised his hand and said, "I just want to say: this was cooler than myself."
I'll take that as a compliment!
An Old Pro.
The first group, 45 minutes late, got out of the dome a little later than normal. And, of course, the SECOND group showed up 20 minutes early. So the usual mad cluster of hallway destruction followed.
Here's what made it worse: the 11:00 show had 3 classes. Two went in the main entrance (the right way), and the third went in a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT entrance at the end of the building (the WRONG way), so they were coming at me from two directions at once.
The teacher of the third group was all smiles and giggles as I asked, "WHY didn't you stay with the group?!?!" I was already pissed at the earlier group and grouchy that I had to come back and actually do work after 10 days off.
She sensed my irritation and got all sorts of indignant, "I went here for TEN YEARS, I KNOW MY WAY AROUND, and I decided to go the OTHER way."
I described how it made everything much worse in the hallway. "Well, it doesn't matter now... you guys can just go in."
"Well, where do we go in?" she asked me, in a snotty voice.
I almost killed her. My brain was screaming "WELL, MISS-BEEN-HERE-TEN-YEARS, you should know already, EH?" Followed by, "MAYBE THE OPEN DOOR I AM FREAKING POINTING AT, MORON!!!"
What I actually said was, "Right there. Thank you. Enjoy."
Anyone know where I can purchase a fresh set of testicles? I think mine have worn out.
The first group, 45 minutes late, got out of the dome a little later than normal. And, of course, the SECOND group showed up 20 minutes early. So the usual mad cluster of hallway destruction followed.
Here's what made it worse: the 11:00 show had 3 classes. Two went in the main entrance (the right way), and the third went in a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT entrance at the end of the building (the WRONG way), so they were coming at me from two directions at once.
The teacher of the third group was all smiles and giggles as I asked, "WHY didn't you stay with the group?!?!" I was already pissed at the earlier group and grouchy that I had to come back and actually do work after 10 days off.
She sensed my irritation and got all sorts of indignant, "I went here for TEN YEARS, I KNOW MY WAY AROUND, and I decided to go the OTHER way."
I described how it made everything much worse in the hallway. "Well, it doesn't matter now... you guys can just go in."
"Well, where do we go in?" she asked me, in a snotty voice.
I almost killed her. My brain was screaming "WELL, MISS-BEEN-HERE-TEN-YEARS, you should know already, EH?" Followed by, "MAYBE THE OPEN DOOR I AM FREAKING POINTING AT, MORON!!!"
What I actually said was, "Right there. Thank you. Enjoy."
Anyone know where I can purchase a fresh set of testicles? I think mine have worn out.
What a Comeback.
Ah, it's so great to be back. 10 whole days without screaming kids (for the most part); I am so refreshed and happy.
[The editors would like to apologize for the fraudulent nature of the above sentence(s).]
I get back here, and the first show this morning was FORTY FIVE MINUTES LATE. They were noisy preschoolers who didn't care about much anyway, so it was fine that they only got a 15 minute show. Most of it was just showing the video of the Mars Exploration Rover that I use in most programs. And that way I didn't have to talk.
As the rocket was taking of one girl asked, "Is that a bomb?"
I assured her that it was not.
When the first booster rockets separated, she asked, "Is THAT a bomb?"
I told her that it was the SAME rocket, and it still was not a bomb.
The next separation occurred -- "Whoa! Is that a bomb?"
"Still. Not. A. Bomb." I said.
"It looks like a bomb," she told me.
I wish I had a bomb right about now.
Ah, it's so great to be back. 10 whole days without screaming kids (for the most part); I am so refreshed and happy.
[The editors would like to apologize for the fraudulent nature of the above sentence(s).]
I get back here, and the first show this morning was FORTY FIVE MINUTES LATE. They were noisy preschoolers who didn't care about much anyway, so it was fine that they only got a 15 minute show. Most of it was just showing the video of the Mars Exploration Rover that I use in most programs. And that way I didn't have to talk.
As the rocket was taking of one girl asked, "Is that a bomb?"
I assured her that it was not.
When the first booster rockets separated, she asked, "Is THAT a bomb?"
I told her that it was the SAME rocket, and it still was not a bomb.
The next separation occurred -- "Whoa! Is that a bomb?"
"Still. Not. A. Bomb." I said.
"It looks like a bomb," she told me.
I wish I had a bomb right about now.