More Big Kids.

Well, a couple days ago I was the host for an area Chamber of Commerce visiting. I wore a suit and everything. I shaved that very day. Normally someone else hosts, but everyone above me on the chain of command was busy or away, so it trickled down to me. I am not fond of hosting, at all. And I was especially annoyed at this group because they scheduled our place to have a networking session, and then capped off with a Planetarium show (that part I KNEW I would have to do), as a special treat.... BUT, it started as a regular hour show... then they called and asked to have it reduced to 45 minutes (sure, that's fine), then they asked for closer to 1/2 hour (now it's getting silly short), then they asked for 20 minutes or less (why bother??). It's part of my duties to do these little sundry things and make our people happy, so I agreed.

The organizers showed up, and I greeted them and asked if they needed any help. They looked at me like I had asked them if they would hold a dirty diaper. "I think we can handle it," one of them said. OK....

I drifted back and forth to the greeters to make sure the people at the meeting had everything they needed. Everytime I went there, they only ever half looked at me. They sort of looked out of the corner of an eye, like they were trying not to stare at a circus freak. I kept checking my shirt to see if it was tucked it. I checked to see if I was spontaneously bleeding from a facial orifice. I checked my fly. All seemed to be in order, so I'm not sure why I was being shunned.

I asked them how the progression to the Planetarium would go. Did they want me to invite them down, or would they do it? They assured me that my assistance would not be necessary. I just told them that I was going down to get set up, the door would be open, and to bring them whenever they wanted. They said as I walked away, "Remember, 20 minutes will be plenty! They're just here to network; they don't really need that Planetarium show."

By this time it was 7:00 at night. I'd been at work for 12 hours. I was annoyed at having to be there at all, and even more annoyed that I was treated as if I had leprosy. My anger decided to channel itself in an odd way -- I was going to give these 65 business owners the best show of their lives. I relaxed and settled into a groove while I was waiting for them. I cued up every special effect I had. They were getting the goods.

People started trickling in, and by 7:10 the place looked full... 65 people in an 80 seat theater is basically full, especially when they are all adults. I cranked the lights down at a medium pace -- once I was sure that their eyes had gone into night vision, I dropped it into full dark... you could almost hear it go to lights out. 4,000 stars greeted them, and I had one of the loudest "oooohs!" I had ever gotten. I started the show like this: right as they 'ooohed' I said, "That's right!" I mixed a little street accent in it as if I had just impressively stuffed a basketball in a game of 1 on 1. "Check it out!" I said, and cranked the daily motion on the spin them dizzy. They were like young teenagers in there, giggling and pointing.

I was on. It felt good -- when you get in the groove, it's like a kind of high. It didn't even feel like I was doing it -- I felt like I was off on the side watching some stranger do the program. I took them on a rock and roll ride. I had some music playing in the background as they came in, and everytime I spun the sky (did it a couple of times) I put the music back on. I took them through the Orion Nebula and took them to Mars. They ate it up! It was awesome.

I finally brought the lights back up at 7:55. As the lights were coming up, I looked at my watch in mock-shock -- "Oh, my goodness! Look at that! We went over! Sooo sorry about that..." One guy in the front row said, "I've got nothing to do, keep it going!"

I had schedules and brochures and star charts and bookmarks on the front table for them to take at the end. I figured they wouldn't care about them too much. I was wrong. The mob descended on them -- there was maybe 1 or 2 crumbled papers left. They also descended on me. The questions were tremendous. Many people got their goodies and wandered out, but about half stayed and wanted to find out more about Galileo crashing into Jupiter or the Cassini mission to Saturn... I rocked their world.

The highlight of that networking meeting -- not the networking, NOT the free food (which they devoured like wolves. We ordered 3 trays of food designed to feed 115 people. 65 showed up -- there was NOTHING left. Not even mustard packets. I'm pretty sure I saw one of them licking the plastic tablecloths), it was their ride in space.

They'll be back... and it won't be a 20 minute show next year either.

To Random Dad: Thanks for your Support.

Sometimes, on rare occasions, I get some welcome assisstance.

This Saturday, I had shows which were open to the public. They were well attended -- mostly due to the fact that was miserably drizzly, which is perfect Planetarium weather.

This particular program is one which I have dubbed "Longer Nights, Brighter Stars", and it concerns things to see in the winter night sky. I talked about some planets, stars, constellations, and other deep sky objects which are visible. I mentioned the Andromeda Galaxy, the Pleiades, and Betelgeuse.

I also showed an extremely groovy animation simulating a flythrough of the Great Orion Nebula. It was wild up there on the dome -- it really felt 3-D. There is some spacey music going on, and a professional voiceover. It was well done, and I'm sure it was a welcome change to my cartoon troll voice, that they usually have to listen to!

There was one kid, probably 11 or 12 years old, sitting on the edge of the row right in front of me. The video is less than three minutes long, and about one minute into it he started chanting: "BOOOOO-ring. BOOoooOOO-ring." I don't know what he was talking about! I had already seen it a dozen times, and I was STILL loving it. Maybe the music and voice were just too calm for him. And I was not personally offended or anything by the comment, like I thought I should be, because he was talking to the pre-recorded stuff. But it was still rather rude.

His father was right next to him, and right after the 3rd "BoooOOoooring" Dad punched him in the head. It was beautiful. OK, it was more of a shove, but it still nearly toppled the kid out of his chair. Good thing he was on the end of a row -- the show was full, the kid would have landed in someone else's lap.

"Was THAT boring?" Dad hissed through clenched teeth.

The kid, in full pout, shook his head "no".

"Boring doesn't look so bad now, does it?"

I tried to hold back, but as he said that, I think a laugh-snort snuck out.

OK. Break's Over. Back to work.

HELLO! I have been away, in case you couldn't tell. Sorry for the lapse in Blogging, but I was away (see previous sentence).

Where was I? I was in South Carolina, if you must know.

Anyhoo, I have returned, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. OK, that's not true: actually the eyes are a little bleary, and the tail is freshly shorn. The 'returned' part of that sentence is correct, though.

Apparently, my adoring public has missed me, since I returned to dozens of voice mail messages and e-mails requesting my astronomical services. I am in the process of returning those calls now, but I needed a break. My voice mail message mentioned that I would be away for 10 days, returning on September 9th.... many people left interesting messages, but I think most people waitied until today to call.

Here's how my day has gone so far -- I have returned many calls. Just as I was returning what I thought was the last call, as I was talking to the person, I heard the call-waiting beep sound going on. Once the call was complete (I won't interrupt the conversation for a beep!), I checked my voice mail, and I had a new message which I needed to respond to! Ack! So I called that one back -- this new call being the one which I figured would be my last. As I talked to that person, I had the call-waiting beep again. The call gets completed, and suddenly there is another new voice mail from someone else. I called that one back. As I talked, a beep. New voice mail. Called back. Beeped again. New voice mail. Called back. Beeped. Voice Mail. Called. Beeped. Mail. Call. Beep. Mail...

Glad I kept that airsick bag from the plane as a souvenir. I am off to use it!