Be prepared.

I had a group of 3rd graders here a little while ago. There was about 60 of them. And as they were coming down the hill I noticed that EVERY one of them was holding a book. All the books were different -- I noticed everything from Judy Blume to Shel Silverstein to Captain Underpants, but they all had one.

I asked the teacher why they all had a book, and she said, "Well, we weren't sure if we would have to wait when we got here, so we made sure that everyone brought a book to keep them busy."

This woman is AWESOME. What a great idea. It's something I do whenever I go anywhere, but I never expected a teacher to expect her 3rd graders to do the same! Wonderful.

As they were entering the room, one kid said, "Oh, cool!" as expected, but then went on to say, "this looks just like home!"

His house has circular flip-down seating for 80 and a giant robotic projector in the center?! Wow.

They were actually a rather excited group. I started the day with a headache, and they did nothing to relieve it, but since they came prepared, I didn't really care that much. And they were excited about the astronomy. It would have been nicer if they sat quietly instead of screaming throughout, surely, but at least they weren't making stale jokes about Uranus.

I'll take what I can get.

Don't come late.

I had 3 public shows this weekend, and 2 of them actually sold out. Yeeps. Why do people keep coming back?! I really am flabbergasted that people keep showing up.

Anyhoo, the 1:00 program was one that was sold out. I got back to my office and had the following note tucked under the door:

To the Planetarium --
We had reservations for the 1:00 pm show. The original reservation was under Professor Applequist. I phoned and requested an additional ticket for a wheelchair patron. We were here at 1:00. The doors were locked. I do not expect to pay for these tickets nor have Professor Applequist pay either.
-- Professor Montana

Hilarious, for so many reasons.

First, when I got out of the program, Tom, one of the maintenance fellows here, saw me come out of the room, and said, "Chris, man, you had some pissed off people here before."

I asked him to elucidate... He told me, "Some people came in after the show started. They yelled something me about the 1:00 show. I didn't know anything about it, I said, 'It's only five after one, try the door.' but it was apparently locked."

I was locked. I didn't even close the door until 1:05, so they were LYING when they said they were here at 1:00. Once the show starts, though, the door gets locked. Period. It's dark in there. Too dark to see. If you come in late you ruin the show for everyone in there, including me. This is why they don't let you in late to Broadway shows -- you are a distraction and a nuisance.

Even funnier is the "I don't expect to pay for these tickets" part. You won't have to pay because you weren't here before the cash register got put away! Dope.

And I'm wondering why Professor Applequist, who did show up on time, didn't mention anyone else coming. Maybe they weren't surprised that you were here on time -- maybe they were happy about it.

Probably not -- I'm just supposing here -- but who knows...

Call 911.

The other day, while I was cutting some papers with an X-acto knife, I slipped and almost cut off the front of the index finger of my left hand. I sliced about a 1/2 inch into it -- if I had gone another 1/8 inch, that chunk would have been detached from my body.

So what does this have to do with the Planetarium? I'll get there.

I had it bandaged for a while, but it wouldn't dry out while being bandaged, so I decided to go unbandaged for the day. It basically was staying closed, and seemed to have scabbed up nicely. I would just be careful.

I had two shows today, and at the end of the first, the kids were asking their questions. One kid asked about how a star forms. I usually use bubble wrap to try to illustrate it. I mention that they should imagine the bubbles are gas atoms, and gravity holds them in a ball (I ball up the bubble wrap), and if the gravity gets strong enough it starts a nuclear explosion (I wring the bubble wrap making a great popping cacophony!). They kind of get it, usually...

I decided to do the same thing. With great flair, I produced the bubble wrap, and wrung it out! As it popped, the stress of the wringing shifted the skin around my fingers. I felt the scab give way, and looked down to see the left side of my hand turning red. I was gushing blood. I headed behind the control panel to where I have paper towels, but some kids gasped as they noticed the blood flow. One of the teachers saw it, too, and just looked at me, wide-eyed.

"No more questions," I said quietly. The teacher who saw my bleeding started laughing.

She escorted them out as I tried to dig a Band-Aid out of my pocket, without bleeding on my pants too much.

Any day that starts with uncontrolled bleeding cannot turn out too good.

The Generosity of Some People.

I had a message on my machine from a woman who wanted a birthday party for her 5 year old son.

The message had a part which stated, "Of course, I'd be willing to pay for everyone."

Wow. You'd actually PAY for the program. That's so swell.

I just don't understand sometimes.

Watch it Wiggle.

Last week I had a group of special ed kids. They are always my favorite! They have an honest appreciation and a simple sort of wisdom that I never see anywhere else. This time I was not disappointed...

I was talking about the gas planets, and mentioning that they have no solid surface. I often describe them as 'big, thick, round clouds in outer space.' It's not a perfect description, but it gets them understanding the fact that we can see it's shape, but still could not stand on it!

At the end of the show, one girl was asking about that. She asked if you would fly right through a planet like you would a cloud. I told her, "No. The gravity is WAY too strong. You would get stuck in the body of a planet like Jupiter. You'd really become part of the body of Jupiter."

"Oh," she said, "so it's really more like Jell-o."

My eyes lit up. "YES! Exactly!" Actually Neptune's body is so cold it's probably sort of coagulated gases... kind of like Jell-o! Amazing. I was thrilled. "That's a great analogy," I told her.

"Thanks!" she said, obviously pleased with herself.

"Can I use it?" I asked her.

"Use it for what?" she said.

"Use it in my shows? Can I tell people that the gassy planets are kind of like Jell-o?"

She looked confused. "Why couldn't you?"

"Well, it was YOUR idea, and I didn't want to use it without your permission," I told her.

She thought about it for a minute... "I give you permission," she told me, nodding.


These kids are awesome.